How your darling children can ruin a trip to the happiest place in the world in a matter of seconds
Today I had to take my children with me to run an errand to my favorite store, Target. After our experience I have decided to write a letter to the CEO of Target & ask them to restrict children from their stores. That's right... I want Target to ban children. Forever.
Target is supposed to a peaceful, quiet retreat for us SAHM after spending our days with our screaming, messy, clingy, sticky icky kids. But instead it has become a place of screaming children and mothers on the edge of losing their minds!
This afternoon I needed to return a few items to Target (I am the queen of returns-ask the hubs about that one sometime) & then pick up a few things. I had a very specific list in my head with a very specific timeline planned. I did my returns and then I wanted to go look in the Melissa and Doug section for items I could use to do speech activities with my daughter. While in the section, the darling daughter of mine spots a simple wooden box, each side with a door and a number on it. It came with very little else and it was $30 (Yeah- Melissa & Doug will eventually be getting their own letter I'm sure). Of course Sophie spotted it and wanted it. Why I have no clue. She has 500 houses of some kind at home but that was what she had her eyes on. Now I am cheap ass. Big time. Ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you that I won't buy anything unless its on clearance like 12 times. However, when the kids see something I am not as cheap. BUT Mel and Dougie were NOT getting $30 of my dollars for an empty wooden box. I. Think. Not.
So for the next 10 minutes she screams, cries, pouts, begs, and does nothing but talk about this damn house. Back before I was on my anxiety meds, I would have gotten all hot, sweaty, and embarrassed and bought the damn thing so she would shut up. Now? I don't think so. She can cry until she's dehydrated for all I care.
At this point in the trip, I am at the point where that timeline had gone out the window and took the list of what I needed with it. Thanks to my meds, I cannot remember much and with Neve Campbell screaming in my face like some crazed killer was coming at her when in fact her mother simply told her no, I could barely remember my name.
Then I run into someone I went to high school with. She of course looked great as she's always been a beautiful person. It was a short but very nice to get to talk to an adult even if we were talking about our children. I almost cried & begged her to stay when she walked away because I knew I wouldn't have anymore adult contact for at least 6 more hours... But I figured our family had put on a good enough show for the day and kept my composure.
I then stood in the middle of the terrible arts and crafts section (Like really Target- let's get our shit together) for a good 4 minutes before I decided to give up and just go check out with what I had. I of course had to make a pit stop to the Dollar Section and again-Step up your game Target.
I finally gave up and just went to check out with the few items I did manage to remember. I got side eyed from an old lady in pearls who either didn't approve of my tattoos, my children's behavior, or the fact that I have no wrinkles while she looked like a dried up prune. (I know- mean but she started it!)
We finally make it to our car. I buckle everyone in, check that I got everything out of the cart, and get in the car. I then look down to grab the keys from my lap and notice that I had jelly donut ALL over my shirt. Jelly donut. On my shirt. It was probably on my shirt when I was talking to my former classmate, when I asked the sales lady if they had any more planners, and when Driving Miss Daisy was mean mugging me. My children got me so frazzled that I didn't notice the entire time we were in there that I had jelly donut all over my shirt. And guess what? I didn't eat a jelly donut today! Nope! So my sticky icky kids must have gotten their paws on my shirt.
So, I have decided that Target needs to ban children so that way I no longer have to take my children to my happy place. Is that mean and selfish and make me a bad mom because I want to walk around my favorite store for an hour (or 3) in peace and quiet and WITHOUT jelly donut on my shirt? Yes, probably but I love Target more than I care what society thinks about my parenting.
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